When you are on a potential date hunt, you have quite high aspirations for them to meet a certain image in your mind. But a few dates later, you feel the need to have the talk- “So, where is this headed?” And this isn’t a question that can be answered without discussing a few important things. Your discussion and your decision based on that might alter your life in many ways. You can’t be pinned down to a person just because you enjoy their company or because they look good. So, here is a list of things that you must talk about before you take take it further:
#1. Their family, background and culture.
It is easy to tell yourself that you love your partner and whatever and whoever else comes with them, you will accept. However, what if they are raised in a conservative and misogynist atmosphere, can you guarantee that it will not reflect in their behaviour? What if your partner’s family is uptight about caste, religion and certain stereotypical gender roles? Save yourself a heartbreak and think about it.
#2. Look into your partner’s career aspects and finances. Because relationships include messy joint financial decisions which must be catered to.
Does your partner want a career that assures stability or will they take risks for passion? Will your partner put his/her career at a higher position than yours? What are their spending habits? Do they save up routinely?
#3. How does your partner treat your superiors, peers, subordinates, family members and the people who aren’t well off?
Of course, your partner will put on their best behaviour for the wooing phase, but the way your partner treats others, speaks volumes of his character.
#4. Not to sound like a prying relative, but know their views on marriage and children.
Is your partner obsessed with kids or hates them? Do they think of marriage as a possibility do they dread it? The sooner you know it, the better.
#5. Establish ground rules about your relationship and fidelity.
Is your partner in favour of open relationships? Do they think flirting is acceptable outside the relationship? You don’t just figure it out as time goes. Ask, debate, decide, repeat.
#6. Your partner’s views on politics, world affairs, religion, social issues and stigmas.
The fluttery feelings in heart will die out eventually but what a shock it will be if they find you are an atheist when he is a devout believer who believes that non-believers go straight to hell? When you are in a serious relationship, it becomes inevitable that your conversations would range way beyond love, romance and everything sweet. Since, you will be talking about everything under the sky; you might want to figure out your common grounds.
#7. Touch the sensitive topic of feminism!
You don’t want to waste your precious time with a partner who just talks of equality but doesn’t act on it and who is offended by your opinions and rights.
#8. Do you share the same ideals?
While it is impossible for two persons to be perfect puzzle pieces, it is important that you share the same ideals. Isn’t it just a rude shock for an animal rights activist to be dating a person who can’t stop showing his leather collection?
#9. The bedroom compatibility.
Relationships begin and end at this at times. Physical compatibility is an important criterion to decide how you continue your relationship. Yes, sex is not the most important thing in a relationship, but it can definitely be a deal-breaker.
#10. How you behave with each other when you have disagreements.
In a relationship, you will hate your partner more often than you love them. The way you carry yourself through these patches will be an altering factor in your relationship. A relationship goes beyond love, romance and butterflies; it’s definitely not a bad idea to invest more rational thinking into it.